Now Begins

Some good things must end. But ends often signify beginnings. In a game I just finished playing, I ended up with the Master-loser score of -52. But subtraction is only addition somewhere else. 52 weeks have passed. 52 new weeks begin. Unwritten weeks. Unwritten days. Unwritten moments. And if I'm not mistaken, it's not the past or the future that is the most significant, but the Now. 2005 soon closes. Another chapter opens. What has yet to happen?
Wrong question.
What is happening Now?
So on we go to another day, cataloged under a different date. Time goes on, unless it stops someday, but Now is now. And now enters a New Year. The year of '06.
Bring it on.

Refridgephrases

On our refrigerator we have a set of magnetic block letters (they look like the letter-blocks you probably played with as a child). There are only so many letters in a set, though. Earlier this year, it became a challenge of mine to make a phrase using all of the letters. Everytime I've come home from college, I have done this. I recently completed the tenth "refridgephrase" (as I call them). Keep in mind, they all use the same letters. Here they are (punctuation, italics, and capitalization added):

1. My zebra t-rex Joe and I live life to tip cows and hug Quakers.
2. We're queasy children baking ziti for a juxtaposed TV mole.
3. My lil' bug, Dr. Jeeter Zeva, wanted a Q-tip axe for cookin' sushi.
4. A zoned squirt of thy melted rig wax is a clever joke in a pub.
5. Slavik twerp-lord Jacque Fambu is THE OXYGENATED IONIZER.
6. Attempted haiku failed. Squirrels now angry. Exovize Job C.
7. The Brew of Cupid. I am darker quality. Love joins gazes next.
8. I never faked a grim soliloquy in a topaz Bejerschtwed tux.
9. An evil orb jinxed wizard Galmec's quest for The Utopia Key.
10. Rejuvenate six lazy octopi before mirk squid gnaw the lad.

And just for fun, here's a picture my cousin and I randomly slapped down as a JPEG the other day. It's called "Sun (son) in Training":

Winter's End

Mandible raised the eraser-blades and moved backwards.
“Get up, Norman.”
Norman rose to his feet, wincing at the pain of his erased side. He held the blade in front of him and his eyes narrowed.

“There you go, Norman. I’m not about to kill you without a fight—that would be so pathetic. I want to go out with a bang—if I am going to cease to exist once you are gone, I’d like to have a bit of fun before we go. That’s why I came here last night on the time-machine. I wanted everything to be perfect when we arrived…the eraser-blades hidden in the snow, the spot planned and logged in the coordinates of the time-machine, and the disarmed eraser-guns. It’s gone exactly as I anticipated. Now, who should I let the worm eat first while we’re fighting, Norman? If I let it eat Dr. Pea, it will negate the existence of the time-machine, which will negate your meeting. But I’ve already tried to prevent your meeting once. I think letting it eat your dear Jessie first would be the best—”
Norman suddenly sprang at Mandible, swinging right and left with his blade. Mandible managed to block his swings, but there was something behind Norman’s attack that he hadn’t anticipated. Norman turned, dodging Mandible’s blades, and swiped right into one of Mandible’s arms. The bug-man roared in pain, dropping the eraser-blade in that hand. He glared at Norman, grabbed him, and threw him backwards.
“Well, Norman, that was quite impressive—”
Norman didn’t stay down. He sprang back up and lunged towards Mandible, who brought the three remaining blades up from below, and their blades interlocked in a criss-cross of colors.
“My my, Norman! You’re angry! But unjustly so…if anyone has any reason to be angry, it’s me! Your efforts are useless. You can’t win.”
Norman smirked, “You’re wrong, Mandible.”
“What makes you so sure?” sneered Mandible.
“Because I have someone to fight for,” replied Norman, and he swung his blade up and around his back, landing square against a second of Mandible’s arms before his adversary could counter. Mandible yelled again, swinging around with his two remaining blades. He swung left, and Norman blocked right. The second blade came around, but Norman quickly parried and stuck his foot behind Mandible’s. Mandible looked down at his foot, then at Norman. Norman smiled, then pulled his foot back. Mandible fell to the snow. Norman swept his blade over his head and placed it right at Mandible’s neck.
“Well done, Norman! But you can’t defeat me. The mutation the worms implemented on me has made me nearly impervious to eraser-blades. There is no way you can win—”
“You don’t have to cease existing.”
Mandible stopped speaking. “What did you say?”
“You don’t have to be alone, Mandible. You could come back with us…”
“Never! I can’t stand the bond you two share!” Mandible grabbed Norman’s blade and crawled on top of it, pulling Norman down with his weight. He pried it out of his hands and threw it away as Norman fell to the snow. Norman turned over, spitting out a mouthful of ice, and found himself staring up the vicious creature's blades.
“Then you’re not the last man,” replied Norman, “you’re the last monster.”
“It was because of your LOVE that I came into existence, Norman! It was your love that made me such a monster!!”
“No,” says Norman, “it was the absence of love that made you a monster. Your evil is your own. It’s not our doing.”
“ENOUGH!” yelled Mandible, “I have had enough! It’s time for the end!” He raised his blades, preparing to slice Norman's head in two, when suddenly:
“Nobody move! I’ve got grapefruit!” screamed Mr. Burton, turning up the page and inadvertently squashing Mandible’s body. Mandible’s head rolled onto the ground as he screamed in shock.
“I’ve always wanted to say that,” said Mr. Burton, juggling the grapefruit he’d brought.
“Mr. Burton?” said Norman, rising.
“Hey look, Zoloportico Falagon, it’s my good friend Norman Bufort! Long time no see, buddy!”
Suddenly, Mandible’s third eye shot a glance over towards the worm. It roared and lunged at Jessie.
“Jessie!” screamed Norman. He quickly grabbed the only thing in sight to throw—one of Mr. Burton’s grapefruits. It flew threw the air and straight down the worm’s throat. It stopped short of clamping down on Jessie, who was now surrounded by its gaping jaws. Suddenly, the space-worm fell backwards and released Jessie and Dr. Pea from its coils. Slowly, the place in the throat where the grapefruit was lodged began to disintegrate.
“Of course!” said Dr. Pea, “In galactic theory, any form of acidic substance (such as grapefruit juice) is fatal to space-worms!”
Mr. Burton and Ezz looked at each other and grinned, then quickly ran to the worm and began squeezing grapefruit juice all over it. As they did, there was a sudden and loud crack as a wave of Time flashed over the landscape. Immediately, the ice vanished, and the beautiful green hills returned to the way they once were.
Norman and Jessie ran to each other and hugged. “I thought I’d lost you,” they both said at the same time. Mandible rolled his eyes from his spot on the ground and yelled, “Please, just stop!”
Norman looked over at what remained of Mandible. His third eye faded into a pale glaze, and his antlers fell off. “Ezz,” said Norman, “would you be so kind as to pick up that head and bring it with us?”
Ezz eagerly ran over and picked up Mandible’s head with fascination.
“Put me down, you purple pygmy! Just leave me here to die!” screamed the head.

“No,” said Norman, “there’s still enough of you left to save.”
With that, the two stick-men, the stick-girl, the alien, and the bug-head got into the time-machine and prepared for their trip back. As Dr. Pea programmed their coordinates, Ezz asked, “how come this stick-man’s head is still alive?” Dr. Pea explained, “Well, that’s the interesting thing about stick-men, my alien friend. A stick-man’s body is not essential for survival, you see. All the stick-man needs is inside the head. The body, you see, is easily ‘redrawn,’ if you will.”
“Oh,” said Ezz. He paused, then said, “if I will what?”
“I wonder what it feels like without a body,” said Mr. Burton, whimsically.
Mandible sighed. “Helpless.”
The time-machine’s energy began to build. Norman looked at Jessie resting happily on his shoulder and then said, “Dr. Pea, I have a question. How come Mandible’s plan didn’t succeed? In sending the worm back to 1991 to freeze everything, it seems like that would have prevented Jessie and I from meeting. Why didn’t it?”
As the portal opened, Dr. Pea replied, “Some things, Norman, are meant to be. Some things cannot be undone, even by time. The love that you and Jessie have is one of those things.” And they shot backwards in time to meet their rightful futures.

The Ancestor

Norman turned around and was suddenly face-to-face with the gaping jaws of the space-worm. It dove left and flew past him, knocking him to the ground. His eraser-gun flew out of his hands and into a snow-drift. Norman looked over in time to see the worm knock the eraser-weapons out of Jessie and Dr. Pea’s hands and wrap its tail around each of them. It lurched towards Jessie, its jaws wide open. Jessie screamed.
“NOOOO!” yelled Norman.
“Wait!” said Mandible.
And the worm stopped, its jaws inches from eating Jessie whole.
“I suppose now I’ll explain myself,” said Mandible, bending down and picking up an eraser-blade hidden beneath the snow. “It was I who sent the worm back to 1991, using the time-tracer to determine the exact moment at which to send the worm through the portal you provided, Dr. Pea.” He turned to Norman and threw him the sword, then bent down into the snow again, “I am a Worm-master, Norman. Having grown up in the same environment as the worms, I was eventually able to tap into their brains. I can control them.” He pulled out another eraser-sword from the snow, and then a third. “That is where my third eye came from. You see, Norman, entering the mind of worms is a mutual endeavor. The worms entered my mind as well. They transformed me into this. And ever since then, I have loathed my existence even more than ever.” He pulled out a fourth and then a fifth eraser-blade from beneath the ice. “And that is why I sent the worm back into the past.”
“I don’t understand,” Norman said coldly, rising with the eraser-blade in his hand.
Mandible lunged at Norman with the eraser-blades. Norman quickly blocked as Mandible swung around from the left. Two other blades came from the right, and Norman turned to parry those. The fourth blade came down towards Norman’s head. He turned his sword upward and defended the attack, but wasn’t fast enough to counter the first blade. It nicked him in the side, and he fell to the snow.
“I hate myself, Norman! I hate that I’m alone! I’m the last man on this planet! The LAST! You have no idea what it’s like to wake up morning after morning and have no one but these vicious creatures to talk to,” he motioned to the worm, still inches away from swallowing Jessie. “I hate being alone. And I hate you and Jessie.”
“What?! Why?” said Norman, holding his side, “You barely know us! How can you hate us?”
Mandible stood over Norman, his blades pointed right at his neck. “Because of everything you have! The bond you share is despicable. It’s the exact opposite of everything I’ve known—it’s everything I’ll never have. So I figured what better way to end things than to send a worm back to the past and destroy your chances of meeting. Obviously, though, the worm wasn’t enough. I hadn’t counted on you two coming yourself to 2939. So, when distrust didn’t tear you apart, I decided I might as well come to 2009 with you where I was certain I could find a worm to work my plan. Oh yes. Once you both are gone, then my pain will be over!”
“Killing us won’t end your pain, Mandible!”
“You still don’t understand, do you, Norman?” said Mandible, bending closer, “I’ll try and make it clear. It’s a lot like the worm. If you kill the worm, you negate the existence of all its offspring. Well, it’s the same with you. If you end, so do all those who come after you. Including me.”
“It can’t be…” said Norman. Mandible smiled.
“I never told you my full name, did I Norman? It’s Mandible Vicyous Bufort.”
Norman’s eyes widened.
“Yes, Norman. Yesssss. You and Jessie are my ancestors. In a sense, Norman, you are my father. And I’m going to kill you now.”

Return to 2009

The portal opened and the time-travelers found themselves on the top of the frozen hill, overlooking the graveyard. It was July 5, 2009 yet again. Norman saw his past self, talking with the Jessie of 2009. Though the conditions were different then he remembered, he smiled at the girl next to him, and she smiled back—down below, the moment they had met was taking place.
As they watched, Dr. Pea went around to a side compartment on the time-machine. Mandible spoke first. “It makes perfect sense to me that, in killing the first worm, you will negate the existence of all the worms that follow throughout history. But do you really think you’ll be able to kill this worm?” He was surprised as Dr. Pea quickly threw two small weapons to Jessie and Norman.
“Of course we will,” replied Dr. Pea, “Mandible, I trust you might remember what these are.”
“Naturally, Dr. Pea. The frozen museum of my day had several on display. Eraser-pistols…ah, and I see you have an eraser-cannon.” He gestured to the giant weapon Dr. Pea had around his neck, “but I must say, they’ll be perfectly useless against the worm. It is not of this planet, ergo it cannot simply be erased. Only natives of Dot are erasable. Surely, you, Dr. Pea, of all people—you, the knowledgeable scientist—would know this.”
“I had thought of it,” replied Dr. Pea, “but that’s not why I got these out.”
Dr. Pea raised his cannon, aiming it at Mandible. Jessie and Norman did the same with their pistols. Mandible raised his eyebrow.
“The worm doesn’t come through the portal for another 15 minutes. In that time, I would like to have some answers from you.”
Norman, holding his pistol, said, “Mandible, I had a dream last night. I dreamed of a worm passing us in the portal just before we entered 2939. I realized, however, that that wasn’t just a dream. It was a memory.”
“And it was something I’d overlooked,” said Dr. Pea, “I saw it too, but I thought maybe it was just a surge in the time-warp. But after you went back to sleep last night, Mandible, Norman woke Jessie and I and told us of the dream. It was only then that I remembered a small device that I had seen on my time-machine—a device I hadn’t put there.” He pulled out a small electronic device. “We know that you made a journey on the time-machine last night, Mandible. We knew it all along, even as you were trying to make us believe it was one of us.”
“What you missed, though,” said Norman, “was that it couldn’t have been someone during the night who transported the worm back to 1991. As I noticed when we came to 2939, my house was frozen exactly as we left it. But the worm had to have frozen Dot at the exact moment that we came into the future in order for Marcus and Martin to be frozen a few moments after we left them. Otherwise, time would not have yet been changed upon our arrival, and we wouldn’t have seen my house frozen exactly as it was before we left.”
“In other words,” said Dr. Pea, “time had already been changed once we arrived. If it had been one of us that transported the worm last night—or even if you had said it was you who had done it—none of us would have seen Martin and Marcus frozen in those positions the day before because 1991 had not yet been affected.”
“My, you all did a lot of thinking last night, didn’t you?” said Mandible in an amused voice, “Alright, you’ve seen right through me.”
“Would you care to explain what’s going on?” said Dr. Pea, holding up the electronic device, his cannon still aimed steadily at Mandible.
Mandible looked around at the eraser-guns, and then smiled. “Not at all. That device you are holding, Dr. Pea, is a time-tracer. I put it on your time-machine when you first visited 2939 on your own. It enabled me to know where you were in time, and if you were coming back.”
“But why did you try to get us to suspect one another?” asked Jessie, “You didn’t do a very good job of destroying our trust of each other, but it still begs the question of why?”
Mandible looked at Jessie and hissed, “Because I despisssssse you!”
The third eye in the center of his forehead quickly glanced towards the graveyard. The others followed its gaze as the portal opened. Norman watched as a second Mr. Burton came running out of the time-warp with the worm snapping only inches behind him. Mr. Burton 2 ushered Jessie, Norman, Marcus and the original Mr. Burton onto the first time-machine and into a second portal. The worm was left in the middle of the graveyard with the second time-machine, bewildered at their sudden disappearance.
Suddenly, it turned towards the hill and snarled at the sight of the four. Norman turned to Dr. Pea and Jessie in horror, but was just as shocked to see Mandible standing with his arms stretched up towards the worm. His eyes were closed, but the third eye stared intently at the worm. Norman hesitated in turning back to face the graveyard, petrified with the fear that the worm was watching them. He heard a sound behind him and was sure it was no longer amidst the icy gravestones.
It was approaching.

Cold Distrust

Once Norman had fallen back asleep, he had horrible dreams of Mandible landing hard on his back, then of the worm of 2009, and then of Mandible swinging his arms wildly at Norman with a vicious glare in his eyes. He dreamed of their time-journey to 2939, and of the whizzing light of Time as it flew past. Suddenly, a worm flew by the time machine as they were nearing their entrance to the wintry future. It roared in Norman’s face, and he woke up. He looked around the ice cave at his companions. All of them—including Mandible—were sleeping. Norman looked at Mandible, then thought of the dream. “What if it wasn’t just…” He opened his eyes wide as if a revelation had come to him. He laid his head back down to sleep, but his eyes remained open the rest of the night.

The next day, Dr. Pea went to work on the time-machine. Mandible followed him. Dr. Pea looked at Mandible, then at the machine and said with a smile, “Hehe, it’s worth a try.” He flipped the ON switch...and the time-machine came to life! “It works! Amazing, after all these years, it still works!”
Mandible looked back towards camp, and then said, “Are you sure? It seems very unlikely that it would just come on after all this time. I think someone must have fixed it last night.”
“That’s nonsense. Who else knows how to fix it but me?”
“Yes, who else...?”
Dr. Pea thought. “Norman? No, Norman couldn’t have...he...he wasn’t there when I made it.”
“But he did go on trips with you, did he not? He knew how it worked well enough. I think Norman took the time machine last night and transported the worm back to 1991!”
“Norman!? No, he wouldn’t do that—why would he?”
“Oh, do you really think all his nervousness about all the adventures you go on was genuine? Norman has a deep desire for adventure—you know this! Surely you must! You know him better than I do! Last night, he probably got up and got the worm to chase him. But he wasn’t counting on it almost catching him. So, naturally, he used the time-machine to escape. The controls were calibrated for 1991 still, and the worm followed him back to that year! He left it there and came back here, too ashamed to admit what he had done.”
Dr. Pea opened his eyes in sudden realization. “Now that I think of it...I did wake up last night and see someone running back to camp from the graveyard...”
Mandible turned and smiled a hidden smile, leaving Dr. Pea to think. He went back to the ice cave and found Jessie. “Where’s your dear Norman?”
“I think he went to his frozen house...he had some questions he needed answered.”
“So what do you think about all this worm business?” asked Mandible.
“I don’t really know what to think,” said Jessie, “I actually try not too think about it too much—it makes my head hurt.”
“Surely you must know that it has to be one of you that transported the worm back to 1991. And who knows time-travel better than...”
“Dr. Pea? No, Dr. Pea wouldn’t do that–”
“How can you be certain?” Mandible asked, “He is a scientist after all. It would fit his character, transporting a worm back to his present day for the sake of science.”
Mandible watched as Jessie began to think.
“But perhaps you’re right. Perhaps it wasn’t Dr. Pea. And naturally, it wasn’t you. That would only leave–”
“You.”
“Me?” Mandible gave a bewildered laugh, “my dear girl, it couldn’t have been me. I know nothing about time-travel. The only other person it could have been is your dear Norman. It would explain why he isn’t around right now when the time-machine is being examined for the first time in 948 years…”
At that moment, Norman walked up. He eyed Mandible suspiciously. Jessie looked up at Mandible and, without breaking her cold stare, gave Norman a hug and kissed him on the cheek. She walked off confidently to lend Dr. Pea some help loading the Xenon.
“Did you find what you were looking for, Norman?” Mandible asked, un-phased.
“Yes. I think I did,” replied Norman, tightening his jaw. The two stick-men stared at each other with a coldness that nearly matched their surroundings, “What were you talking with Jessie about?”
“Well...to be honest, about you.”
“Me?” said Norman, not entirely convinced of Mandible’s honesty.
“Why yes. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but she’s under the impression that it was you who took that worm back to 1991. Obviously it couldn’t have been you. You know, I think it might have been her that took it. She’s probably angry at you for taking her out of 2009, so she sent that worm back to–”
“She loves me, Mandible,” Norman said, the anger rising in his voice. Mandible snarled at the words. “You know, I did a lot of thinking at my frozen house just now, and I realized something: We never actually mentioned to you what year we were from.” The smile on the bug-creature’s face faded. “There’s more to you than you’re telling us.”
Mandible’s eyes narrowed. Norman moved closer, his jaw set, and he said very distinctly, glaring into those monstrous orbs, “And I wanted to let you know I don’t believe a word you say. Jessie and I know each other and love each other, and nothing you can say or do is going to separate us.”
Mandible opened his mouth, revealing ugly, sharp teeth. Norman wasn’t sure if it was in an effort to say something, or if Mandible was simply about to bite his head off. He never found out–Dr. Pea’s yell interrupted their increasingly heated conversation:
“We’re ready whenever you two are! Let’s go back to 2009 and end this winter!”
Mandible and Norman Bufort turned and walked to the time-machine, and the four traveled backwards through time in a chilling silence.

Mandible

If traveling through a time-warp is a strange sensation, falling through a worm-hole is even stranger. Norman Bufort could have sworn that his own physical structure was rearranged, inverted, reversed, and stretched all in the same moment.
But the smack of cold, soft snow on his face made it clear he had made it through without being eaten by the resident of the hole. He looked to his left as Jessie smacked into the snow beside him. Then came Dr. Pea on his right. And then, landing right on Norman’s back, the mysterious bug-creature fell out of the worm-hole just before it closed up.
“Ow! Get off!” screamed Norman. The bug-man obeyed and the three others stood up as well. Dr. Pea looked at their new-found companion and said in astonishment, “Who are you...what are you? And where are we? And how’d you know that worm-hole was safe—”
“Allow me to introduce myself,” replied the creature, “My name is Mandible. I am the sole surviving stick-man of the worms and their havoc they have wreaked upon this planet. I know I do not look like a stick man—it is because the harsh conditions of the environment have mutated me to the extent that I am only half-man, half-beast. But do not fear me. I mean you no harm. I only mean to help you in your quest. As for the worm-hole, I admit it was a risk, but it was the only chance we had at escape.”
Dr. Pea and Jessie believed this answer freely. Norman Bufort, though, had felt Mandible land on his back as if it was intentional, and he doubted the bug-man’s sincerity.
“So where are we?” Jessie asked, “When are we?” Norman ran to the top of a hill to find out. The others followed. There, at the bottom of the hill, was a frozen graveyard, and...
“My first time-machine!” yelled Dr. Pea. “It’s been there since the year 2009! We can go back to the exact moment when Mr. Burton brought the original worm into the year 2009, somehow dispose of the worm, and end this Future Winter for good!”
None of the others saw it except for Norman: Mandible had winced.
“How did the worm get to our Present, though?” asked Norman.
Dr. Pea replied, “I suppose it used one of the worm-holes—”
“No,” said Mandible, “I have been through these worm-holes many times before...running from the Vicious beasts, naturally...they can only breach distances in space, not time. We’re still in the year 2939.”
Norman wondered how he knew what year it was. The land looked much too barren and raw for time to be of any value to its inhabitants.
“Well, I suppose I better get to work on the time-machine—”
“No!” said Mandible, “It is almost night. You should wait until tomorrow. The...uh...the worms are most active at night.”
With that, they built a camp in a small ice cave and went to sleep. Norman awoke during the night and saw the light of a flash coming from the graveyard. It was too dark to see well enough, but Norman was sure of one thing—one of the members of their camp had gone. Norman ran to the graveyard just as another flash occurred. Seeing a figure walking toward him, he swiftly ran back to his bed and went to sleep.

A Future Cold and Bleak

Traveling at an accelerated speed through time is quite a strange sensation, as Jessie and Norman would readily support if you asked them. Somewhere in between the year 1991 (Dot years) and 2939, the three travelers sped along in their inter-dimensional machine to meet what adventures awaited them once time was allowed to resume its natural rate. In the in-between, however, there was time enough still for conversation.
“Why didn’t Captain Myghxz come along?” asked Norman Bufort, bracing himself as Time itself whizzed by. “Well, you see,” replied Dr. Pea, “the reason I asked you two to come along in the first place was because the confounded alien was disinterested in time-travel from the start. Strangely enough, he found a study of dung beetles to be more appealing.” Dr. Pea adjusted the machine’s controls as he prepared to enter the year 2393. “As you know, this machine travels across dimensions. Therefore, I must warn you that, while I am certain at what time we shall emerge, I am uncertain as to exactly where in space we will emerge. It will not be far from our position in The Present, but I doubt it will be exactly the same. Oh, and prepare for a bit of a surprise—a lot has changed in 948 years.”
As he finished these words, time began to slow down to its natural flow. They emerged from the time portal in an ice-covered land. Without warning, however, the time-machine suddenly dropped, the hot energy of time-travel having melted a hole in the icy surface of a frozen pond on which they had landed. Dr. Pea and Jessie quickly hopped out into a nearby bank of snow, but Norman was stuck inside. The time-machine began to sink in the icy waters. Norman fell into the freezing pond and began flailing his arms, trying to grab hold of the broken ice, but there was nothing to grasp. Dr. Pea looked around frantically and saw a frozen stick. He pulled at it and with a lurch it came free of ice and into his hands. Quickly, he extended the stick to Norman and pulled him out, just as the time-machine sank beneath the surface of the frigid waters. Norman shivered terribly, but the worst was over.
Just then, the stick began to talk. “Hey! Did I just save that guy?”
“Well, you were notably instrumental in his rescue,” replied Dr. Pea.
“Okay, neat. Hey, has anyone seen my friend? He’s a leaf, and—oh! There he is, frozen in that block of ice! Well, whaddya know!?”
As Jessie tended to Norman, Dr. Pea helped the stick (who’s name was Xylem, naturally) unfreeze his little leaf friend. “Yes,” said the stick, “it is quite odd how we ended up frozen. All I remember is floating along the bank of this pond, and then suddenly feeling very cold—and it wasn’t even winter! The last thing I saw was a very large worm and then…ice.”
“Hmm…” mused Dr. Pea, “It seems you were cryogenically frozen some many years before now—but the worm?” He thought to himself, “It couldn’t be…”
“Did you hear that, Phloem?” said the stick to the recently freed leaf, “we were genetically frozen!”
Dr. Pea shook his head and turned to Norman and Jessie.
“We’re stuck here, aren’t we?” asked Jessie.
“Only until I figure out how to build another time-machine,” replied Dr. Pea, “in the meantime, I’m going to build a fire.”
Jessie and Norman decided to walk around some so that Norman could warm up (as much as possible). They began to recognize certain familiar features of the landscape, which struck them as odd since almost 1,000 years had passed. Then a sight met their eyes that stopped them in their tracks. There, in a large block of crystal clear ice, was Norman’s house just as he had left it, with Marcus standing by Martin’s tower of Xenon canisters…completely frozen.
Norman and Jessie ran back to Dr. Pea and told them what they had seen. Dr. Pea sat by his glowing fire and began to think aloud.
“Yes…hm…the worm…yes…A-HA!! It seems that the space-worm which Mr. Burton sent to the year 2009 has taken over our planet! Dot is frozen because the worm has manipulated the temperature to fit its natural habitat—the icy-cold of space!” “But what about Marcus!?” Norman yelled, “He’s frozen! And that was in The Present, not 2009!”
“Unless the worm somehow made it back to 1991…” said Jessie.
“I do not know about that,” replied Dr. Pea, “all I know is that the only way this can be undone rests in the year 2009 at the exact moment when that worm followed Mr. Burton on the time-machine. We must go back to that point and destroy the worm before it can unleash its horrible winter.”
“But we don’t have a time-machine! And how do we even know it was that worm—”
“RUUUUUUN!” Norman’s unfinished question was immediately answered by the mysterious, four-armed man with a bug-like face running towards them. Right on his heels were the snarling jaws of a gigantic space-worm much more vicious-looking than the one Norman had encountered before. Without pausing to think, the three time-travelers joined the frantic pace of the bug-man. He led them straight to a gaping hole of energy and yelled, “Quick, jump in!”
“But that’s a worm-hole, my man!” screamed Dr. Pea, “That’s where those things live!!” “You have to trust me!!!” he replied. Norman took Jessie by the hand and they both leapt into the center of the worm-hole. Dr. Pea, though hesitant, dove in after them. The bug-man turned to the worm, put up his four arms as if to stop the horrible creature, and quickly dove into the hole himself just before it closed and left the gaping jaws behind.

What Has Yet To Happen

And Time unfroze.
For the longest time, Norman Bufort, Jessie, Marcus, and the others had been waiting to dispense from their positions underneath the moon and the floating orange letters that said "The End" (Mr. and Mrs. Furbus had not minded at all being stuck in their position, but that is beside the point). However, as soon as these words you are now reading took form, they all began to disperse. Dr. Pea excitedly urged Captain Myghxz toward his laboratory, saying something about re-creating the four-dimensional vortex (Myghxz seemed somehow disinterested in such things); Mr. and Mrs. Furbus made their way back to their house together. Thus, Jessie, Marcus, and Norman remained on the scene (Mr. Burton and Ezz had mysteriously vanished sometime earlier).
"What was it you wanted to tell me, Marcus? Something about Martin?"
"Oh!" Marcus said, his brain slowly rebooting, "Yes. Um...you'd better come with me.
The three returned to Norman's yard, and Norman could not believe his eyes. His entire yard was now a gaping hole in the ground.


"MARTIN!" he said, looking up at the lawn gnome who danced happily on a tower of Xenon canisters, "What have you DONE!?"
"You guys gave me a shovel, did you not? Well, I got busy digging! And I found all the Xenon in the area! Now there's plenty of Xenon for everyone! Who knows when you might need it? (Oh, and I think you have a rabbit-infestation, as well.)"
"My house is...inaccessible!"
"Hmm..." pondered Martin, "I would take your meaning, methinks, but I know not the definition of 'in-EX-S-able.'"
Norman was about to say more, when suddenly a portal opened up before them. Out of the gleaming gateway, Dr. Pea emerged in a time-machine none of them had seen before. Dr. Pea quickly hopped out and began speaking rapidly,
"Okay, I know you guys just turned me down, but you have to come with me, now!"
"Just turned you down?" asked Marcus. "We haven't seen you since beneath the random 'The End' letters!"
"You haven't...oh. So I haven't come to see you yet?"
The three shook their heads.
"Okay, in a few minutes, I'm about to come up and ask you all if you would like to help me build a second time-machine (since the first was left in 2009 with that confounded worm creature!). Um...but you guys are going to turn me down. So, uh...just tell me no and I'll go away, and then I'll come back in a moment or two." And Dr. Pea hopped back onto the time-machine and shot into the future.
Immediately following, Dr. Pea came up to the three and excitedly said, "Do any of you want to help me build a second time-machine that we may have more adventures in time-travel!?"
The three looked at each other, still bewildered by the previous Dr. Pea that they had just talked with, and said, "Um...no?" (Marcus was a little more definite with his answer--I don't think he ever really enjoyed time-travel).
"Oh..." said Dr. Pea, "really? Okay...well, I guess I'll just build it by myself." And with that, the saddened Dr. Pea sulked off to explore time on his own.
No sooner had Dr. Pea left than the future Dr. Pea returned in the time-machine. "Okay, now that that's out of the way (I was really quite disappointed at being turned down, but I guess I have myself to blame), we shall proceed with these matters. Come, you three, let us away on yet another adventure!"
"What is it now?" Norman asked.
"You remember how I suspected the time formula was telling us to go 948 years into the future? Well, while there may not have been a reason before, there is now!"
Marcus declined, but Dr. Pea insisted that Norman and Jessie go. Thus, after Dr. Pea grabbed a few spare canisters of Xenon ("I told you you'd need it!" said Martin), the three hopped into the second time-machine and they disappeared into the future as Dr. Pea yelled, "Come! We have business in the year 2939!"

Prologue

Before I begin with the story everyone has been highly anticipating, I must first clarify what happened to our wandering friends Mr. Burton and Ezz, and our equally lost stick and leaf, Xylem and Phloem. It turns out that the latter two have been floating down that same stream for sometime, and have come to rest in the calm waters of a local pond.
As for Mr. Burton and Ezz, they have been page-surfing for the past several days. After running across that T-rex, they had to make a break for it. Naturally, the meat-eater pursued them as they made their way onto another page, this one being the home of not just a few "Sims," as they are called, who were in the process of having a pool party. I include no pictures of this for two reasons: 1) I cannot draw Sims (partially because of their 3-D format, and partially because they are not mine to draw), and 2) It almost goes without saying that the T-rex terrorized the scene, and I prefer to keep things rather G-rated. (But don't worry. No one was injured...severly, at least.). So upon realizing they were free of the T-rex (since it was, for the moment, occupied by the running and screaming of simulated humans), Mr. Burton and Ezz wandered onto yet another page which held a large pile of free grapefruits (a few of the fruits were smushed from the weight of the up-turned page). Mr. Burton and Ezz were highly thrilled at the sight of grapefruits, the former having a severe love for the sour delicacy, the latter deriving excitement from his stick-companion's enthusiasm (having no idea at all what a "grapefruit" was). And so, I will end this prologue with what it was Mr. Burton said upon entering the Grapefruit Page,
"We have discovered a paradise, Zoloportico Falagon, and it is ours to enjoy and share! We dare not keep the fruits of joy to ourselves!"

From My Mind's Eye

So here's a little entry about how I see things, including not just a few tidbits of sight from an unnaverage mind:
1) I had a dream the other night in which I found myself in the backroom of a house. It was a warehouse of a room...one that the house's inhabitants had somehow never discovered. Into it I ventured with my friends, finding, in essence, some sort of world therein. It held all sorts of props from unseen shows, plants of unknown life, and its black walls extended high to meet a metal, stage-like ceiling. As we explored its mysteries, my friends suddenly vanished. I looked around, but they were no more. I knew that I could not leave the room if I wanted to save them. There, next to the exit, was a much smaller door hidden by the room's objects. It was much too small--similar to the size of the door in Alice and Wonderland, except that it did not talk. It was green, and I could not fit through it, but I knew that my friends were on the other side in the void that made itself known by enstilling that apprehension and that fear so commonly kin to the unknown. Suddenly, a small, white dog with caramel-colored spots went into the door. I tried to stop him, for fear that he would perish. But soon after, he emerged unharmed. I began my search around the room looking for something to shrink me, knowing now by the dog's ambition that I could make it there and back again.
2) As I was walking by a tree the other day, I heard a buzzing sound. I glanced over, and on the bark there was one of those large, red hornets with the yellow and black stripes on its abdomen. Strangely enough, however, it was attacking a cicada! I watched as the cicada and the hornet struggled on the side of the tree (both insects of which were slightly smaller than a human thumb). And then, suddenly and seemingly without effort, the hornet grabbed the cicada, picked it up, and flew off with it! Those hornets, it seems, have carnivorous tendencies.
3) Yesterday, during one of the many meetings I had, my mind was distracted by a swift and sudden black shadow that flitted across the floor by the wall. I knew what it was as that small blur skittered behind some boxes--a small rat of sorts had joined the meeting. Needless to say, I was distracted. Whereas it is "only a mouse," I personally have a certain fear of rodents. Call it an overactive imagination, but a little less than a year ago rodents for me became a ill and ominous sign. Of what, exactly, I cannot say for sure--perhaps it was just that: Uncertainty. Whatever the case, dreams of attacking rodents and not just a few sightings made me view them as foreboding lifeforms. If I believed in bad omens, that is what they would be. But then, that is silly. Books and movies have symbolism. Life does not. Right...?
4) Last week sometime, I visited an old, long since retired hospital close to where I attend school. With the construction of the newer hospital of several years ago, the Old Hospital was left to the care of a local service organization. In assisting someone move some things into this place, I received a firsthand tour of the ghost of a building. Inside, a few hospital artifacts remained: beds that were falling apart and mechanisms that no longer examined human conditions. Hospital curtains hung limply and loosely, partially dangling from their broken rods. I saw the entrance to the operation ward. I did not go in. There were broken ceiling tiles, flickering florescent bulbs, and not just a few corridors which would have seemed much more horrific had it been night. But for the moment, it was merely fascinating--another place where hidden stories long to reveal their mysteries.
5) Yet another dream last night made for a rather interesting thought. If I remember correctly, I was in that Old Hospital. While it only has one story, I remember distinctly climbing a white stairwell. As I rounded the corner of the steps, I found myself face to face with a spindley-legged spider, its body the size of a newborn child. It lurched at me, and dragged me over to the edge of the stairs, its bite eminent and soon. As it pulled me, I thought of smashing it through the head with my fist to save myself. But the dream shifted scenes before I could.
So that is five things from the perspective of a mind not your own. You have just had the privelege to images you could not have seen without me.

Rupert

I decided that, while I have a plethera of characters on this thing already, it'd be fun to have you meet one other character I designed awhile ago. His name is Rupert. He's a happy, chubby fella, and I think he might have a dog or something. Oh, and he's been to Colorado, which is something I have yet to do. It's so odd how my characters do so much more than me...I'm living my life through them, I suppose. *Sigh* So this is Rupert. What's that, Rupert? Oh, he wants to type:

Hello, yous guys! My name is Rupert. Yeah. Rupert...and I have a pet dump truck in my backyard. It has three wheels. It did have four, but the other one decided to take off on its own. I don't think the other three liked that too much. Yeah. Oh, hey, have any of you seen that new movie? You know, the one about the guys in the...oh what is it? Oh! No, nevermind. I'm thinkin' of somethin' else. Haha! I just spilled mustard on myself. Okay, gotta go and clean my shirt up. I'll talk to all you guys sometime when I'm not so messy! Oh, and remember to always turn off your faucet when it is not in use. Yes. That's important. Otherwise the fishies will revolt. Okay, bye bye!

Yep. That's Rupert. He likes to ramble about random things. Maybe I'll let him on again sometime soon. Anyways, that's the end.

The Failed Sonnet

A dragon snarls in the flower bed,
As snaps the cold and docile day;
An eskimo kiss says words unsaid,
And frost alights on those who stay.
Unruly conquest of worlds unknown,
All because fear is too hard to bear,
And yet we long to see mysteries shown,
Just to wonder what more lies "out there."
The stained glass colors the True Light's descent,
But more lies above those panes of taint;
An eagle bursts into majestic ascent,
As unhindered light undoes brightness faint.
A broken pencil rests deceased,
In shaded dirt of afternoon;
A butterfly's wings transform into feasts,
For ants that are greedy too soon.
Do we yet know what next may come
As moments change in eternity's race?
That thing called time, we mistake for life,
And make too quick our endless pace.
There comes a time to any sum,
Of those who would see good days,
That losses weighed and counted strife,
Be outdone by the kindred soul's praise.
So be adventure in the hearts of the wild,
And beauty in the depths of the deep;
The collective We is more than when severed,
And those we love are those we should keep.
Let free the frown, unloose the smile,
Let wings unfurl in ascending Light,
Be not afraid of a dragon's snarl,
But hand-in-hand, we shall take on the night.

Ponder these things, if you so desire,

The meaning is yours on which to conspire.

And Then...

When we last left our natural friends (the stick and the leaf), they were stuck on a rock in the middle of a stream.

Yes, that is exactly how we left them.

And then, a few hours later...

...they were still there.

Then Xylem (the stick) said to Phloem (the leaf), "Hey! You wanna get off this rock?"
Phloem kept staring at absolutely nothing (as he is so prone to do), but said, "Sure."
A few minutes passed by, and they remained.
Finally, Phloem said, "how do we get off?"
"We swim, I suppose."
Phloem, staring at nothing, said, "Oh." There was a 5-minute pause. "But I can't swim."
"Well, how'd you get on this rock?" asked Xylem.
"I floated," replied Phloem.
"Well that's what I meant," said Xylem."
" OK. Let's go."

So they went.

And they floated downstream.

As for Mr. Burton and Ezz, they got so lost that they wandered onto a completely wrong page.

Somedays, that happens.

(Put a comment on the August 15th post to contribute to an upcoming story!)

In The Meantime...

So while Norman, Jessie, Marcus, and the others were frozen in time waiting for their futures to be written, Mr. Burton and Ezz (the purple alien) decided they'd go on a leisure hike in the mountains. Mr. Burton knew of a quiant little trail that Ezz had never seen before (since this was Ezz's first time on Dot...EVER). So that is what they did.
When they arrived at the trailhead, Ezz suddenly let out a gasp in surprise.
"Wow! Everything is so much clearer and more vivid than the other places on the planet! Why is that!?"
Mr. Burton chuckled, "Oh, that's why I love this trail so much. Instead of the usual bitmap trail, this one is (bum bum bum) a digitally-enhanced trail! It's really quite lovely." (And yes, he did actually say "bum bum bum". It's Mr. Burton we're talking about here, don't forget).
Ezz watched as his red-hatted friend began to rummage through the undergrowth.
"What are you doing, Burt-Man?" (Burt-Man was what Ezz called Mr. Burton)
"I'm getting a stick!"
"What use does a stick have for a stick man?"
"You don't know much about hiking, do you Zoloportico Falagon?" (Zoloportico Falagon was Mr. Burton's nickname for Ezz. Don't ask.)
"No, Burt-Man, I am afraid I do not. You see, on the asteroid I am from, we do not have what you call trails. But we do have perbullas."
"Oh! I've always wanted to see a perbulla!" (I have no idea what a perbulla is, either) "Anyway, this isn't just any stick. It's a walking stick! Most people use it to walk with, to keep balance and ward off scary lions or tigers or mammoths!"
Ezz grabbed Mr. Burton's walking stick. "Then let us both use it!"
"Nope. Using someone else's walking stick is forbidden. C'mon, be original, Zoloportico Falagon!"
Ezz looked around, then grabbed a big leaf from a nearby tree. "I shall then use a walking leaf!"
Mr. Burton guffawed and fell to the ground in hysterical laughter. Ezz did not know what was funny, but he did the same. Then the two made their way down the trail.
They soon found themselves on a bridge, and Mr. Burton said, "See, Zoloportico Falagon, one of the most bestest-fun things to do with a walking stick is to throw it into a creek! Like this!" And he threw the stick over the side and it splashed into the water below. Ezz leaned forward and tossed his leaf over as well. But it didn't splash. It floated.
They watched as their walking...items...raced on downstream with the current. Then Mr. Burton spotted a butterfly. "OOH! Let's go get its license plate number!" And off they went.
Now, ordinarily, I would have followed the galavantings of Mr. Burton and Ezz as they walked on down the trail. But, seeing as how there's nothing very ordinary about those two, I will instead follow that stick and that leaf down the river. Down they went, until they came to rest on a rock. And the stick opened its eyes (yes, it has eyes), and saw the leaf. And the leaf opened its eyes and saw the stick.
"Hello, my name is Xylem," said the stick.
"Hi! I'm Phloem," said the leaf.
And the two new friends remained stranded on the rock.
As for Mr. Burton and Ezz, I think they got lost somewhere in the woods when the butterfly went down the middle of a fork in the trail (Mr. Burton seemed to think it was up to him to write it a ticket).
Well, that is all.

Creative Suggestions Wanted

Hello, readers. I have been contemplating writing a "sequel" to The Furbus Pretzel (the six-part Norman Bufort adventure where he and his friends went through all that confusing time-travel biz). However, I decided I'd make it a bit..."interactive," so to speak. I've got some of the plot details in mind already, but I want some ideas. If you have any random, creative, outlandish ideas you would like to see in this next (G-rated) story, just post a comment with your idea, and I'll see what I can do about integrating them. Though please do so promptly. Norman and the others are very anxious to get on with their lives, and some of them are getting quite cranky with me for delaying their futures.

Newness

This summer had a theme for me. "Let go of the past," said my experiences, "and..."
But I never heard the rest. I always stopped with letting go, because loss seemed to me to be quite enough to deal with. There was more, though, and a recent e-mail opened my eyes to it: In letting go of the old, we must take up something new. The other half of letting go of the past is taking hold of the future.
I think an illustration is best. In high school, I once took an outdoors trip to a high-ropes course. One of the obstacles of that course was to walk along a rope tied some 30 feet up in the air between two tree platforms (naturally, we had a safety line to prevent us from falling to our deaths, but it was still quite thrilling). Hanging from a higher rope (above the one we were to walk) were vertical ropes spaced out about a yard-or-so from each other. We were to use these vertical ropes to work our way across, in a semi-Spider-man "web-to-web" fashion. I went from the first to the second and the second to the third, but when I reached the third, I realized that the fourth rope was positioned a bit further than the others. I reached for it, but my arm fell short. As long as I clung to that rope behind me, I could not grasp the rope before me. So I risked the void: I let go of the third rope and went for the fourth. For a brief moment, I wasn't holding on to anything. But it would have been quite foolish to remain so. If I had not grasped that fourth rope, I would have fallen. Instead, I reached, I grasped, and I made it to the opposite platform.
So here I am at the end of my summer. My computer has, in a sense, been the symbol of loss for the summer. Well, I have just received it (and its memory) back in full. But some of the files remain corrupted and lost.
I am fine with that. They are gone, and that is that. But there is so much more ahead. As Sir Arthur Conan Doyle proposes in the opening chapters of The Lost World, "There are heroisms all around us, waiting to be done." And that is true. My fears, my failures, and my losses of the summer are behind me. My confidence, my courage, and my future lie ahead. It is time to go out and grab the fourth rope, and I know I can because I am not alone. My strength resides in one stronger than I, for as things are, Man needs God, and God is available (so that is quite fortunate for Man). "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13). The strength is His, and Newness is His work. So yes, tomorrow I may meet those same fears of yesterday. But this has never stopped me before.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"
--God (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Solari

In our search for extra-terrestrial life, we have always looked to other planets, thinking life can only be sustained on such a rock as our own. One place we have always failed to look (partly because nothing could possibly live there, and partly because it's just too bright) is the Sun. On such a day as today, however, in the near future, a solar flare ignites and stretches out into space. Out of it flies a particle of burning matter that amazingly travels that long distance from the burning ball to the planet for which that same ball rises and sets each day. That tiny particle of the sun crashlands in a field of solar-panels at an isolated observatory. This night, the observatory is manned alone by a lonely astronomer who, in the midst of watching the sky, hears the explosive contact of Earth and Sun. Such contact is sure to change his life and, soon enough, the lives of everyone else as well. He ventures out to explore, and up from the burning crater rises a glowing figure. At first too hot and bright for the scientist to effectively observe, the Sun-being lowers its light and temperature for a more acceptable encounter. The creature cannot talk, nor does it have any eyes (at least none visible). But who says an alien can't have a soul?
The scientist allows the Star-man to dwell with him, and the two develop some form of a friendship (as much as a human can have with a thinking piece of Sun). The man names the alien Solari (roughly pronounced SOUL-er-eye) and gives him a set of heat-containing robes for him to wear.

Solari comes for a reason, naturally. He comes to warn us. It just so happens he is the only one of his kind that is of the friendly sort. In a matter of months, The Phantom Star will be the only one who can save us from his brothers and their onslaught of fire and light.