Now Begins

Some good things must end. But ends often signify beginnings. In a game I just finished playing, I ended up with the Master-loser score of -52. But subtraction is only addition somewhere else. 52 weeks have passed. 52 new weeks begin. Unwritten weeks. Unwritten days. Unwritten moments. And if I'm not mistaken, it's not the past or the future that is the most significant, but the Now. 2005 soon closes. Another chapter opens. What has yet to happen?
Wrong question.
What is happening Now?
So on we go to another day, cataloged under a different date. Time goes on, unless it stops someday, but Now is now. And now enters a New Year. The year of '06.
Bring it on.

Refridgephrases

On our refrigerator we have a set of magnetic block letters (they look like the letter-blocks you probably played with as a child). There are only so many letters in a set, though. Earlier this year, it became a challenge of mine to make a phrase using all of the letters. Everytime I've come home from college, I have done this. I recently completed the tenth "refridgephrase" (as I call them). Keep in mind, they all use the same letters. Here they are (punctuation, italics, and capitalization added):

1. My zebra t-rex Joe and I live life to tip cows and hug Quakers.
2. We're queasy children baking ziti for a juxtaposed TV mole.
3. My lil' bug, Dr. Jeeter Zeva, wanted a Q-tip axe for cookin' sushi.
4. A zoned squirt of thy melted rig wax is a clever joke in a pub.
5. Slavik twerp-lord Jacque Fambu is THE OXYGENATED IONIZER.
6. Attempted haiku failed. Squirrels now angry. Exovize Job C.
7. The Brew of Cupid. I am darker quality. Love joins gazes next.
8. I never faked a grim soliloquy in a topaz Bejerschtwed tux.
9. An evil orb jinxed wizard Galmec's quest for The Utopia Key.
10. Rejuvenate six lazy octopi before mirk squid gnaw the lad.

And just for fun, here's a picture my cousin and I randomly slapped down as a JPEG the other day. It's called "Sun (son) in Training":

Winter's End

Mandible raised the eraser-blades and moved backwards.
“Get up, Norman.”
Norman rose to his feet, wincing at the pain of his erased side. He held the blade in front of him and his eyes narrowed.

“There you go, Norman. I’m not about to kill you without a fight—that would be so pathetic. I want to go out with a bang—if I am going to cease to exist once you are gone, I’d like to have a bit of fun before we go. That’s why I came here last night on the time-machine. I wanted everything to be perfect when we arrived…the eraser-blades hidden in the snow, the spot planned and logged in the coordinates of the time-machine, and the disarmed eraser-guns. It’s gone exactly as I anticipated. Now, who should I let the worm eat first while we’re fighting, Norman? If I let it eat Dr. Pea, it will negate the existence of the time-machine, which will negate your meeting. But I’ve already tried to prevent your meeting once. I think letting it eat your dear Jessie first would be the best—”
Norman suddenly sprang at Mandible, swinging right and left with his blade. Mandible managed to block his swings, but there was something behind Norman’s attack that he hadn’t anticipated. Norman turned, dodging Mandible’s blades, and swiped right into one of Mandible’s arms. The bug-man roared in pain, dropping the eraser-blade in that hand. He glared at Norman, grabbed him, and threw him backwards.
“Well, Norman, that was quite impressive—”
Norman didn’t stay down. He sprang back up and lunged towards Mandible, who brought the three remaining blades up from below, and their blades interlocked in a criss-cross of colors.
“My my, Norman! You’re angry! But unjustly so…if anyone has any reason to be angry, it’s me! Your efforts are useless. You can’t win.”
Norman smirked, “You’re wrong, Mandible.”
“What makes you so sure?” sneered Mandible.
“Because I have someone to fight for,” replied Norman, and he swung his blade up and around his back, landing square against a second of Mandible’s arms before his adversary could counter. Mandible yelled again, swinging around with his two remaining blades. He swung left, and Norman blocked right. The second blade came around, but Norman quickly parried and stuck his foot behind Mandible’s. Mandible looked down at his foot, then at Norman. Norman smiled, then pulled his foot back. Mandible fell to the snow. Norman swept his blade over his head and placed it right at Mandible’s neck.
“Well done, Norman! But you can’t defeat me. The mutation the worms implemented on me has made me nearly impervious to eraser-blades. There is no way you can win—”
“You don’t have to cease existing.”
Mandible stopped speaking. “What did you say?”
“You don’t have to be alone, Mandible. You could come back with us…”
“Never! I can’t stand the bond you two share!” Mandible grabbed Norman’s blade and crawled on top of it, pulling Norman down with his weight. He pried it out of his hands and threw it away as Norman fell to the snow. Norman turned over, spitting out a mouthful of ice, and found himself staring up the vicious creature's blades.
“Then you’re not the last man,” replied Norman, “you’re the last monster.”
“It was because of your LOVE that I came into existence, Norman! It was your love that made me such a monster!!”
“No,” says Norman, “it was the absence of love that made you a monster. Your evil is your own. It’s not our doing.”
“ENOUGH!” yelled Mandible, “I have had enough! It’s time for the end!” He raised his blades, preparing to slice Norman's head in two, when suddenly:
“Nobody move! I’ve got grapefruit!” screamed Mr. Burton, turning up the page and inadvertently squashing Mandible’s body. Mandible’s head rolled onto the ground as he screamed in shock.
“I’ve always wanted to say that,” said Mr. Burton, juggling the grapefruit he’d brought.
“Mr. Burton?” said Norman, rising.
“Hey look, Zoloportico Falagon, it’s my good friend Norman Bufort! Long time no see, buddy!”
Suddenly, Mandible’s third eye shot a glance over towards the worm. It roared and lunged at Jessie.
“Jessie!” screamed Norman. He quickly grabbed the only thing in sight to throw—one of Mr. Burton’s grapefruits. It flew threw the air and straight down the worm’s throat. It stopped short of clamping down on Jessie, who was now surrounded by its gaping jaws. Suddenly, the space-worm fell backwards and released Jessie and Dr. Pea from its coils. Slowly, the place in the throat where the grapefruit was lodged began to disintegrate.
“Of course!” said Dr. Pea, “In galactic theory, any form of acidic substance (such as grapefruit juice) is fatal to space-worms!”
Mr. Burton and Ezz looked at each other and grinned, then quickly ran to the worm and began squeezing grapefruit juice all over it. As they did, there was a sudden and loud crack as a wave of Time flashed over the landscape. Immediately, the ice vanished, and the beautiful green hills returned to the way they once were.
Norman and Jessie ran to each other and hugged. “I thought I’d lost you,” they both said at the same time. Mandible rolled his eyes from his spot on the ground and yelled, “Please, just stop!”
Norman looked over at what remained of Mandible. His third eye faded into a pale glaze, and his antlers fell off. “Ezz,” said Norman, “would you be so kind as to pick up that head and bring it with us?”
Ezz eagerly ran over and picked up Mandible’s head with fascination.
“Put me down, you purple pygmy! Just leave me here to die!” screamed the head.

“No,” said Norman, “there’s still enough of you left to save.”
With that, the two stick-men, the stick-girl, the alien, and the bug-head got into the time-machine and prepared for their trip back. As Dr. Pea programmed their coordinates, Ezz asked, “how come this stick-man’s head is still alive?” Dr. Pea explained, “Well, that’s the interesting thing about stick-men, my alien friend. A stick-man’s body is not essential for survival, you see. All the stick-man needs is inside the head. The body, you see, is easily ‘redrawn,’ if you will.”
“Oh,” said Ezz. He paused, then said, “if I will what?”
“I wonder what it feels like without a body,” said Mr. Burton, whimsically.
Mandible sighed. “Helpless.”
The time-machine’s energy began to build. Norman looked at Jessie resting happily on his shoulder and then said, “Dr. Pea, I have a question. How come Mandible’s plan didn’t succeed? In sending the worm back to 1991 to freeze everything, it seems like that would have prevented Jessie and I from meeting. Why didn’t it?”
As the portal opened, Dr. Pea replied, “Some things, Norman, are meant to be. Some things cannot be undone, even by time. The love that you and Jessie have is one of those things.” And they shot backwards in time to meet their rightful futures.

The Ancestor

Norman turned around and was suddenly face-to-face with the gaping jaws of the space-worm. It dove left and flew past him, knocking him to the ground. His eraser-gun flew out of his hands and into a snow-drift. Norman looked over in time to see the worm knock the eraser-weapons out of Jessie and Dr. Pea’s hands and wrap its tail around each of them. It lurched towards Jessie, its jaws wide open. Jessie screamed.
“NOOOO!” yelled Norman.
“Wait!” said Mandible.
And the worm stopped, its jaws inches from eating Jessie whole.
“I suppose now I’ll explain myself,” said Mandible, bending down and picking up an eraser-blade hidden beneath the snow. “It was I who sent the worm back to 1991, using the time-tracer to determine the exact moment at which to send the worm through the portal you provided, Dr. Pea.” He turned to Norman and threw him the sword, then bent down into the snow again, “I am a Worm-master, Norman. Having grown up in the same environment as the worms, I was eventually able to tap into their brains. I can control them.” He pulled out another eraser-sword from the snow, and then a third. “That is where my third eye came from. You see, Norman, entering the mind of worms is a mutual endeavor. The worms entered my mind as well. They transformed me into this. And ever since then, I have loathed my existence even more than ever.” He pulled out a fourth and then a fifth eraser-blade from beneath the ice. “And that is why I sent the worm back into the past.”
“I don’t understand,” Norman said coldly, rising with the eraser-blade in his hand.
Mandible lunged at Norman with the eraser-blades. Norman quickly blocked as Mandible swung around from the left. Two other blades came from the right, and Norman turned to parry those. The fourth blade came down towards Norman’s head. He turned his sword upward and defended the attack, but wasn’t fast enough to counter the first blade. It nicked him in the side, and he fell to the snow.
“I hate myself, Norman! I hate that I’m alone! I’m the last man on this planet! The LAST! You have no idea what it’s like to wake up morning after morning and have no one but these vicious creatures to talk to,” he motioned to the worm, still inches away from swallowing Jessie. “I hate being alone. And I hate you and Jessie.”
“What?! Why?” said Norman, holding his side, “You barely know us! How can you hate us?”
Mandible stood over Norman, his blades pointed right at his neck. “Because of everything you have! The bond you share is despicable. It’s the exact opposite of everything I’ve known—it’s everything I’ll never have. So I figured what better way to end things than to send a worm back to the past and destroy your chances of meeting. Obviously, though, the worm wasn’t enough. I hadn’t counted on you two coming yourself to 2939. So, when distrust didn’t tear you apart, I decided I might as well come to 2009 with you where I was certain I could find a worm to work my plan. Oh yes. Once you both are gone, then my pain will be over!”
“Killing us won’t end your pain, Mandible!”
“You still don’t understand, do you, Norman?” said Mandible, bending closer, “I’ll try and make it clear. It’s a lot like the worm. If you kill the worm, you negate the existence of all its offspring. Well, it’s the same with you. If you end, so do all those who come after you. Including me.”
“It can’t be…” said Norman. Mandible smiled.
“I never told you my full name, did I Norman? It’s Mandible Vicyous Bufort.”
Norman’s eyes widened.
“Yes, Norman. Yesssss. You and Jessie are my ancestors. In a sense, Norman, you are my father. And I’m going to kill you now.”

Return to 2009

The portal opened and the time-travelers found themselves on the top of the frozen hill, overlooking the graveyard. It was July 5, 2009 yet again. Norman saw his past self, talking with the Jessie of 2009. Though the conditions were different then he remembered, he smiled at the girl next to him, and she smiled back—down below, the moment they had met was taking place.
As they watched, Dr. Pea went around to a side compartment on the time-machine. Mandible spoke first. “It makes perfect sense to me that, in killing the first worm, you will negate the existence of all the worms that follow throughout history. But do you really think you’ll be able to kill this worm?” He was surprised as Dr. Pea quickly threw two small weapons to Jessie and Norman.
“Of course we will,” replied Dr. Pea, “Mandible, I trust you might remember what these are.”
“Naturally, Dr. Pea. The frozen museum of my day had several on display. Eraser-pistols…ah, and I see you have an eraser-cannon.” He gestured to the giant weapon Dr. Pea had around his neck, “but I must say, they’ll be perfectly useless against the worm. It is not of this planet, ergo it cannot simply be erased. Only natives of Dot are erasable. Surely, you, Dr. Pea, of all people—you, the knowledgeable scientist—would know this.”
“I had thought of it,” replied Dr. Pea, “but that’s not why I got these out.”
Dr. Pea raised his cannon, aiming it at Mandible. Jessie and Norman did the same with their pistols. Mandible raised his eyebrow.
“The worm doesn’t come through the portal for another 15 minutes. In that time, I would like to have some answers from you.”
Norman, holding his pistol, said, “Mandible, I had a dream last night. I dreamed of a worm passing us in the portal just before we entered 2939. I realized, however, that that wasn’t just a dream. It was a memory.”
“And it was something I’d overlooked,” said Dr. Pea, “I saw it too, but I thought maybe it was just a surge in the time-warp. But after you went back to sleep last night, Mandible, Norman woke Jessie and I and told us of the dream. It was only then that I remembered a small device that I had seen on my time-machine—a device I hadn’t put there.” He pulled out a small electronic device. “We know that you made a journey on the time-machine last night, Mandible. We knew it all along, even as you were trying to make us believe it was one of us.”
“What you missed, though,” said Norman, “was that it couldn’t have been someone during the night who transported the worm back to 1991. As I noticed when we came to 2939, my house was frozen exactly as we left it. But the worm had to have frozen Dot at the exact moment that we came into the future in order for Marcus and Martin to be frozen a few moments after we left them. Otherwise, time would not have yet been changed upon our arrival, and we wouldn’t have seen my house frozen exactly as it was before we left.”
“In other words,” said Dr. Pea, “time had already been changed once we arrived. If it had been one of us that transported the worm last night—or even if you had said it was you who had done it—none of us would have seen Martin and Marcus frozen in those positions the day before because 1991 had not yet been affected.”
“My, you all did a lot of thinking last night, didn’t you?” said Mandible in an amused voice, “Alright, you’ve seen right through me.”
“Would you care to explain what’s going on?” said Dr. Pea, holding up the electronic device, his cannon still aimed steadily at Mandible.
Mandible looked around at the eraser-guns, and then smiled. “Not at all. That device you are holding, Dr. Pea, is a time-tracer. I put it on your time-machine when you first visited 2939 on your own. It enabled me to know where you were in time, and if you were coming back.”
“But why did you try to get us to suspect one another?” asked Jessie, “You didn’t do a very good job of destroying our trust of each other, but it still begs the question of why?”
Mandible looked at Jessie and hissed, “Because I despisssssse you!”
The third eye in the center of his forehead quickly glanced towards the graveyard. The others followed its gaze as the portal opened. Norman watched as a second Mr. Burton came running out of the time-warp with the worm snapping only inches behind him. Mr. Burton 2 ushered Jessie, Norman, Marcus and the original Mr. Burton onto the first time-machine and into a second portal. The worm was left in the middle of the graveyard with the second time-machine, bewildered at their sudden disappearance.
Suddenly, it turned towards the hill and snarled at the sight of the four. Norman turned to Dr. Pea and Jessie in horror, but was just as shocked to see Mandible standing with his arms stretched up towards the worm. His eyes were closed, but the third eye stared intently at the worm. Norman hesitated in turning back to face the graveyard, petrified with the fear that the worm was watching them. He heard a sound behind him and was sure it was no longer amidst the icy gravestones.
It was approaching.

Cold Distrust

Once Norman had fallen back asleep, he had horrible dreams of Mandible landing hard on his back, then of the worm of 2009, and then of Mandible swinging his arms wildly at Norman with a vicious glare in his eyes. He dreamed of their time-journey to 2939, and of the whizzing light of Time as it flew past. Suddenly, a worm flew by the time machine as they were nearing their entrance to the wintry future. It roared in Norman’s face, and he woke up. He looked around the ice cave at his companions. All of them—including Mandible—were sleeping. Norman looked at Mandible, then thought of the dream. “What if it wasn’t just…” He opened his eyes wide as if a revelation had come to him. He laid his head back down to sleep, but his eyes remained open the rest of the night.

The next day, Dr. Pea went to work on the time-machine. Mandible followed him. Dr. Pea looked at Mandible, then at the machine and said with a smile, “Hehe, it’s worth a try.” He flipped the ON switch...and the time-machine came to life! “It works! Amazing, after all these years, it still works!”
Mandible looked back towards camp, and then said, “Are you sure? It seems very unlikely that it would just come on after all this time. I think someone must have fixed it last night.”
“That’s nonsense. Who else knows how to fix it but me?”
“Yes, who else...?”
Dr. Pea thought. “Norman? No, Norman couldn’t have...he...he wasn’t there when I made it.”
“But he did go on trips with you, did he not? He knew how it worked well enough. I think Norman took the time machine last night and transported the worm back to 1991!”
“Norman!? No, he wouldn’t do that—why would he?”
“Oh, do you really think all his nervousness about all the adventures you go on was genuine? Norman has a deep desire for adventure—you know this! Surely you must! You know him better than I do! Last night, he probably got up and got the worm to chase him. But he wasn’t counting on it almost catching him. So, naturally, he used the time-machine to escape. The controls were calibrated for 1991 still, and the worm followed him back to that year! He left it there and came back here, too ashamed to admit what he had done.”
Dr. Pea opened his eyes in sudden realization. “Now that I think of it...I did wake up last night and see someone running back to camp from the graveyard...”
Mandible turned and smiled a hidden smile, leaving Dr. Pea to think. He went back to the ice cave and found Jessie. “Where’s your dear Norman?”
“I think he went to his frozen house...he had some questions he needed answered.”
“So what do you think about all this worm business?” asked Mandible.
“I don’t really know what to think,” said Jessie, “I actually try not too think about it too much—it makes my head hurt.”
“Surely you must know that it has to be one of you that transported the worm back to 1991. And who knows time-travel better than...”
“Dr. Pea? No, Dr. Pea wouldn’t do that–”
“How can you be certain?” Mandible asked, “He is a scientist after all. It would fit his character, transporting a worm back to his present day for the sake of science.”
Mandible watched as Jessie began to think.
“But perhaps you’re right. Perhaps it wasn’t Dr. Pea. And naturally, it wasn’t you. That would only leave–”
“You.”
“Me?” Mandible gave a bewildered laugh, “my dear girl, it couldn’t have been me. I know nothing about time-travel. The only other person it could have been is your dear Norman. It would explain why he isn’t around right now when the time-machine is being examined for the first time in 948 years…”
At that moment, Norman walked up. He eyed Mandible suspiciously. Jessie looked up at Mandible and, without breaking her cold stare, gave Norman a hug and kissed him on the cheek. She walked off confidently to lend Dr. Pea some help loading the Xenon.
“Did you find what you were looking for, Norman?” Mandible asked, un-phased.
“Yes. I think I did,” replied Norman, tightening his jaw. The two stick-men stared at each other with a coldness that nearly matched their surroundings, “What were you talking with Jessie about?”
“Well...to be honest, about you.”
“Me?” said Norman, not entirely convinced of Mandible’s honesty.
“Why yes. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but she’s under the impression that it was you who took that worm back to 1991. Obviously it couldn’t have been you. You know, I think it might have been her that took it. She’s probably angry at you for taking her out of 2009, so she sent that worm back to–”
“She loves me, Mandible,” Norman said, the anger rising in his voice. Mandible snarled at the words. “You know, I did a lot of thinking at my frozen house just now, and I realized something: We never actually mentioned to you what year we were from.” The smile on the bug-creature’s face faded. “There’s more to you than you’re telling us.”
Mandible’s eyes narrowed. Norman moved closer, his jaw set, and he said very distinctly, glaring into those monstrous orbs, “And I wanted to let you know I don’t believe a word you say. Jessie and I know each other and love each other, and nothing you can say or do is going to separate us.”
Mandible opened his mouth, revealing ugly, sharp teeth. Norman wasn’t sure if it was in an effort to say something, or if Mandible was simply about to bite his head off. He never found out–Dr. Pea’s yell interrupted their increasingly heated conversation:
“We’re ready whenever you two are! Let’s go back to 2009 and end this winter!”
Mandible and Norman Bufort turned and walked to the time-machine, and the four traveled backwards through time in a chilling silence.

Mandible

If traveling through a time-warp is a strange sensation, falling through a worm-hole is even stranger. Norman Bufort could have sworn that his own physical structure was rearranged, inverted, reversed, and stretched all in the same moment.
But the smack of cold, soft snow on his face made it clear he had made it through without being eaten by the resident of the hole. He looked to his left as Jessie smacked into the snow beside him. Then came Dr. Pea on his right. And then, landing right on Norman’s back, the mysterious bug-creature fell out of the worm-hole just before it closed up.
“Ow! Get off!” screamed Norman. The bug-man obeyed and the three others stood up as well. Dr. Pea looked at their new-found companion and said in astonishment, “Who are you...what are you? And where are we? And how’d you know that worm-hole was safe—”
“Allow me to introduce myself,” replied the creature, “My name is Mandible. I am the sole surviving stick-man of the worms and their havoc they have wreaked upon this planet. I know I do not look like a stick man—it is because the harsh conditions of the environment have mutated me to the extent that I am only half-man, half-beast. But do not fear me. I mean you no harm. I only mean to help you in your quest. As for the worm-hole, I admit it was a risk, but it was the only chance we had at escape.”
Dr. Pea and Jessie believed this answer freely. Norman Bufort, though, had felt Mandible land on his back as if it was intentional, and he doubted the bug-man’s sincerity.
“So where are we?” Jessie asked, “When are we?” Norman ran to the top of a hill to find out. The others followed. There, at the bottom of the hill, was a frozen graveyard, and...
“My first time-machine!” yelled Dr. Pea. “It’s been there since the year 2009! We can go back to the exact moment when Mr. Burton brought the original worm into the year 2009, somehow dispose of the worm, and end this Future Winter for good!”
None of the others saw it except for Norman: Mandible had winced.
“How did the worm get to our Present, though?” asked Norman.
Dr. Pea replied, “I suppose it used one of the worm-holes—”
“No,” said Mandible, “I have been through these worm-holes many times before...running from the Vicious beasts, naturally...they can only breach distances in space, not time. We’re still in the year 2939.”
Norman wondered how he knew what year it was. The land looked much too barren and raw for time to be of any value to its inhabitants.
“Well, I suppose I better get to work on the time-machine—”
“No!” said Mandible, “It is almost night. You should wait until tomorrow. The...uh...the worms are most active at night.”
With that, they built a camp in a small ice cave and went to sleep. Norman awoke during the night and saw the light of a flash coming from the graveyard. It was too dark to see well enough, but Norman was sure of one thing—one of the members of their camp had gone. Norman ran to the graveyard just as another flash occurred. Seeing a figure walking toward him, he swiftly ran back to his bed and went to sleep.